My Hiatus in Numbers and Thoughts

In the 3 weeks I have been on my hiatus/fast from Facebook, I have finished reading 3 digital books, 2 paperback books, and 1 book of the Bible.

I have also been able to spend more time playing with my children and have blogged at least 3 times and now 4 since then.

I asked my husband if he had noticed a difference.
His response was something along the lines of, "Babe, it's been so great. I should tell you this more but it's been so nice having you present in the evenings and not on Facebook or your phone so much."

He in turn has been on FB much less also. He only goes on there every 2-3 days now as well. He even considered giving it up himself in support of me but he doesn't struggle with it like I do.

I reread a page in a book that I had recently finished that encouraged me. Dannah Gresh author of Six Ways to Keep the Good in Your Boy writes, "The sword cuts both ways: I think we serve our children best when we change our own lives. The bottom line about being plugged in too much is that it disables our ability to pursue our responsibilities with excellence and to be women of honor. And it does the same thing to our husbands and sons if we aren't careful."

She continues with Psalm 101:2-4: "I will walk within my house in the integrity of my heart. I will set no worthless thing before my eyes...A perverse heart shall depart from me; I will know no evil" (NASB)

That verse resonated and affirmed what I am doing right now with my fast from Facebook.

She goes on to write that she's not trying to take the fun out of life and even has a silly facebook page dedicated to the adventures of her pet peacock.  But she says, "it's all too easy to cross the line from 'having fun' to 'worthless', where we become consumed by things that don't reallly matter much.  How many of us have been on YouTube or Facebook, only to look up hours later realizing we have done so at the expense of our relationships and responsibilities?"

Proverbs 4:23 says to "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life."

How very true that is.

In the past, I have indeed looked up at the clock and realized I had spent half an hour or even an hour just on the internet looking and reading silly things that really didn't help my family in any manner. How many times have we all read worthless or just silly posts on Facebook? How many times have we ourselves posted those worthless or silly or meaningless status updates?

Please don't take this post as a judgmental or self-righteous rant. This is is just a wake up call to myself.

I want my children to know they are enough...I want my husband to know he is enough...I want friends and family members and guests in my home to know they are enough when they are in my presence. I want them to know they are important and they matter and their time matters so much to me that I won't be looking at my phone or texting or posting on Facebook while they are talking to me.

I have been soaking up moments with my children. Sometimes I take pics of the fun and silly things they are doing and sometimes I just sit and bask.
I no longer feel the urge to post it on Facebook and I am okay that people do not know what we are doing each week and I am also okay not knowing what is going on with the rest of the world.
That last part was probably the hardest part the first two weeks of my break. But now I have gotten past the "withdrawal" or "detox" point.

This post is mostly for me...for me to appreciate the minutes I have discovered in my day that had previously disappeared.

And if you need to laugh a little after reading this post because it is a little heavy, check out this video of Betty White when she was on SNL and laugh at her comments about Facebook....they will stick with you...they sure have with me. And then quickly get off the internet and spend time with your loved ones!

School Supplies

This past weekend was tax-free weekend here in our state which meant everyone was out shopping.

We joined the madness on Saturday and ventured into Tarjay for some school supply shopping for Miss A who is a Kindergartener-to-be which is unbelievable that it has happened so fast...

 

As you can see, we also looked at other things in the store too, because who can just shop for the things you are supposed to when you go to Target??

It was a rainy day so FJ had to have his hood on of course.

We got almost everything on her list except for two things. Her list was quite short actually.

We managed to find one more supply today so now we only have a certain type of pencil to find.

Here's our future Kindergartener with her supplies and baby sister checking it all out...

22 Months

This little bit is 22 Months...

She likes spaghetti and cake pops and coloring as you can see from the pix above.

Sometimes she thinks she wants to try to potty and asks to be put on the potty by saying "tee-tee" and walking towards the potty.

She's saying lots...
Such as...
 Shoes
Cheese
Outside
I want...

She is our first one to want to help all on her own...that comes naturally to her...it's a God-given gift.
When I tell Miss A and FJ to clean up a puzzle, she just goes and starts cleaning it up herself.

When FJ is putting silverware away, she starts helping him put it away.

She does not want to nap much these days.
She has stopped transferring from a napping state in the car to a napping state in her crib.

Some days she cries about 15 minutes after I put her in her crib. Tough if I really need some quiet time myself but it makes running errands easier. I feel less constrained to having to be home for nap time.

FJ hardly naps anymore either. It's tough enough keeping him in his room during quiet time. But he and Miss A lost all screen time for the rest of the day and the whole entire next day so that might have taught them to stay in their rooms during QT. We shall see.

I can't believe Rosie is 22 months...2 months shy of 2 years old!

Bye Bye Facebook (for now)

A couple of days ago, I deactivated my account on Facebook for an unspecified amount of time.

I'm hoping to make it two months. That doesn't seem like much, but I've given it up for Lent (1 month) for 2 or 3 years in a row and this time I'd like to make it two months, if not longer.
If and when I do rejoin it, I have now found a great app for the Mac that I can install that will only allow me to go on it during certain times of day. As of right now, I don't think there is an app like that for the iPhone or I would most certainly download it.

Back to Facebook-I had to walk away from it and I had to put up this hard boundary because well...I just can't look at it only a little bit.

I can't just look at it once a month
I can't just look at it once a week
I can't just look at it once a day

I took the Facebook app off of my phone during Lent and then put it back on afterwards and then promptly took it off again when I saw the amount of Facebook browsing I was doing after Lent was over.

But that only slowed me down...

I can still see Facebook through the browser on my iPhone and my laptop is on our main level in our kitchen...so there's easy access to it every time I walk through the kitchen...which is quite a lot in our home because it also leads to our garage.

Some of my friends only look at it when their kids are napping or when they are in bed for the night.
Oh, how I wish I had that self control but I do not at this time.

I have a very real need to connect with friends throughout the day and Facebook and the Internet have made that very possible and it was great...for a while.

But time on Facebook has taken away a lot of time that I could be spending with my children.

I have a theory that stay at home moms may have some of the hardest time from unwiring themselves from the internet and social media. It can get to be the same ole, same ole day after day and the internet and even more specifically, social media, can give that quick fix for connection.

I'm sure I could offer up some research and good quotes on it all but suffice it to say...I spend too much time on the Internet especially Facebook.

Facebook has also caused drama over the course of the 5 years I've been on it that I do not believe I would have experienced had I never gone on there in the first place.

Misunderstandings, jealousy, offensive comments, sarcastic comments...all that has caused drama and I need to walk away from that as well.

Boundaries have to be set up in my life to allow more time for real life and less time for drama.

When I think ahead and how my children will remember me, I don't want them to remember me always clicking away on the laptop or with my head buried in my smartphone. I want them to remember me engaging them and connecting with them...playing, creating, cooking, singing, dancing, laughing, talking, reading...doing life.

So when there's something in your life that is causing you stress and taking you away from your loved ones and it's something that you can certainly do without...it's time to take a hard look at it and see if it is worth it to continue staying on the same course.

**Recommended reading: The UnWired Mom-Choosing to Live Free in an Internet Addicted World by Sarah Mae.